… almost the width of Gatting
My pinkie is giving me jip, please be captain instead of me in Sydney. Please? Everyone has been mean to me and they want me to quit and I’m all hurt and confused and very pissed off at all of you bastards for not batting better … and I don’t want to play.
You’re not to get any ideas of staying on as captain, though, Sunshine. I’ll be back. I think I should just let the dust settle a bit on the Ashes, and let you take the crap if we lose at Sydney as well. Remind everyone that losing this series wasn’t just my doing. Then, when they hate you more than they hate me, I’ll step back up and start kicking arse again.
But, for now, my pinkie hurts. Please be captain at Sydney for me?
Love and kisses,
P.S. Try not to win and ruin my plan, eh?