Thoughts from the Dustbin

… almost the width of Gatting

Making a list and checking it twice … is Ponting naughty or nice?

Dear Mr Ponting,

Thank you for your letter dated December 23rd, 2011. Having looked through my paperwork, I can see that you appear quite heavily on the naughty list this year and very little on the nice list. Also, you are not actually a child so you are taking the piss a little bit. I have consulted with my legal people and they have agreed that, as long as I give you something on the grounds that you are the height of a child, I am not at risk of legal action from you.

I have decided that I will not be giving you the pink teddy bear, the polkadot pyjamas or the son who can play cricket as well as Steve Waugh’s (we are not worthy) son. I will also not be giving you the century on Boxing day, because we have to make these things look realistic.

As a trade off, however, I have decided that you can have a half century on Boxing day but with the following conditions: you will get hit by the ball at least once, you will clearly still not be able to deal with swing as well as you used to and you will have to share the limelight with a new and untried test batsman, who will be as good if not better than you.

I apologise if you are not content with my response to this year’s list, but I don’t really care. Frankly, you get worse every year and I’ve about had enough of it. If I get another batting-related christmas request next year, I’m going to send some of my elves to beat the Cricket Australia selectors senseless for allowing you to still be on the side.

Regards,

Father Christmas (aka Santa Claus, St Nick, Sinterklaas, guy at the MCG wearing a black mask and placing a curse on you)

9 comments on “Making a list and checking it twice … is Ponting naughty or nice?

  1. Alex Christie
    December 26, 2011

    2 yrs since his last century. Thats all I have to say

  2. kirbyakasid
    December 26, 2011

    It’s not good is it?

  3. lou
    December 26, 2011

    50 is the new 100 where Punter is concerned. As long as the Aussies get over 300, they are doing well.
    Considering the batting is so shit these days and we all know how 4shit7 it can be.

    • kirbyakasid
      December 26, 2011

      Things are looking quite even at the moment. It probably won’t last.

      • kirbyakasid
        December 27, 2011

        Told you so.
        :-(

  4. rickyisntthatbad
    December 28, 2011

    Australia’s winning this. And you’ll have to thank Ricky for it. I told you so :)

    • kirbyakasid
      December 28, 2011

      I’ll thank him, as I have before, and then hope he retires. Yes, I recall you specifically said he’d do well at the MCG … Oh wait, no you didn’t.

  5. rickyisntthatbad
    December 29, 2011

    I said that Indians are Ponting’s favourite bowling attack, especially in Australia, and that he will do very well against them. 122 runs in the match – top aggregate for the team in the match. Crucial partnership with Hussey – what more does he need to do? The victory margin was 122 runs, incidentally. So what if he didnt score a century – this was a match-winning contribution. The so-called best batsman of his generation, Sachin Tendulkar, didnt score a century in this match either. And scored less than Ponting for his team. Why should Ponting retire?

    • kirbyakasid
      December 29, 2011

      You also said that the only batter you are interested in watching in the Aussie line up is Shane Watson – or was that your alter ego? I forget.

      “What more does he need to do?” He needs to retire.

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This entry was posted on December 26, 2011 by in Australia being shit again, australia v india, cricket and tagged .
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