The 3rd Annual Alternative Allan Border Medal …
… is not on this year, because apparently I’m just being bitchy, while “real” cricket fans are more concerned with who wins.
Wait a minute … I couldn’t give a shit what they think. If they have a problem, they can feel free not to read any further. Here we go …
The winner of the “Why, oh why?” award:
The Winner of the “Thank God he’s got money” award:
The winner of the “Good Lord young lady, you really can do better” award:
The winner of the “Ye Gads” award:
The winner of the “something died on his head” award:
The winner of the “Shoulder pads and bad hair” award and the “Looking stupid gets us attention, because we are no one’s favourite anymore” award:
The winner of the “Someone forgot to turn off the sunbed” award:
And, finally, my personal favourite – the “five rolls of dress tape” award:
What was the Bratich thinking? She usually wears something worth looking at.
And that electric blue number of Maxwell’s woman is horrid.
The idea of an angsty Twatto baby is… hey, haven’t we already got one of those?
It is odd, isn’t it? Bratich generally looks fantastic. Mitch’s hair is usually ridiculous, but he seems to have outdone himself with that 1950s schoolboy do.
MIke Hussey wasn’t there, he’s got better things to do than hang around with that bunch of bogans.
I couldn’t possibly have made fun of him anyway. Note the lack of Pup and Kyly for the same reason.
Reblogged this on Like a Tracer Bullet and commented:
@DustbinCricket at the acerbic best…
Well, I think it’s very nice of Mrs Twatto to recycle her tackiest Christmas tree decorations into some sort of sad-hanging tiara with matching stomach and shoulder ornaments. Waste not, twat not … or however that goes. Though, too late for her, perhaps?
PS. On twitter, we discussed whether the odd lines around Siddle’s partner’s hip area were her granny-panty spanx showing through. We decided they were.
I know – what is that thing on her head? It looks something from a cheap party store. Maybe she got it in a goody bag at a kid’s birthday party?
Betti… you are cruel. Sid’s dress – if you know what I mean – was the only one I liked and now I’ve noticed those lines and gone ‘not good, not good at all’.
Bratich looks worse every time I see that dress. I’m very disappointed in her I must say as even with Mitch misfiring regularly on the hair front they both usually look cute as buttons.
Steve Smith was given a voucher for rent-a-date, wasn’t he?
I didn’t notice the lines before either. Once Betti mentioned them, though, I naturally whipped out my magnifying glass.
Well, I suppose I am, lou, but in my defence, this was the first picture I saw of that dress: http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2013/02/04/1226570/278441-anna-weatherlake.jpg Not good, not good at all barely covers it.
I’m giving Mrs Tattooed Pony a pass; they had their baby in December: simple and black cover a multitude of sins.
Not sure if Smith needed a voucher for his date; she looks like she can say one million dollars.
Simple and black is always good. It’s the shoulder pads that are unforgivable.
I’m not crazy about those pouffed-up sleeves, but I think they look better when she’s moving and not standing still, hunching up her shoulders, nor being photographed from that particular angle. You can see (almost literally) 5 seconds of her in this video (at around 1.27).
The plastic-looking turquoise clutch, on the other hand: atrocious.
Can’t make the link work
Might be just me.
The clutch is questionable, though, you’re right. Is it supposed to stand out or does she think it goes with the rest of the outfit?
What a naughty link!
Here: http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/wags-do-the-red-carpet-proud-at-allan-border-medal/story-fncak5zz-1226570672596
All the girls nailed it? Did she miss Maxwell’s girlfriend/wife/cousin? If she nailed anything, it was an old curtain.
Thanks for that link. That Maxwell dress looks even more hideous mobile.
Yes, the Bratich does get a pass as she still looks a bit out of it on the giving birth drugs. Mitch probably picked the dress anyway.
I have to say, Kyly Clarke looks like she could wear an old sack and still look stunning
And Mrs Punter’s dress was lovely as was Mrs Glenn McGrath’s dress.
‘La Maxwell’ might also have nailed her breasts … to her hips. That dress is taking ‘pancake breasts’ to a whole new level.
Somewhat OT: have you seen this? Look at him. Can’t even read his lines properly. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF1hl2ZrkVE
Gee, Shane, you know when the people from Body Science said “when you’re talking about our products, try and get the word “integral” in there” I don’t think they meant twice per sentence.
He looks like he’s trying to read something off a big placard, but it’s not going all that well; ‘integral’ was probably the only word that he could remember they’re telling him to say. So he just says it often. They, on the other hand, probably just gave up after the umpteen takes.
I imagine Twatto trying to fit his ‘pressure socks’ (or whatever) over his head.
I also really liked that ‘Body Science’ was written backwards on his T-shirt. It was somehow so fitting.
Yes, I can see Twatto on a plane with a sock on each ear. Because they’re so multifunctional. Not to mention integral to ear safety while flying.
Well that is something.I really liked your titkes for the awards they are just right according to the player but I was quite amazed that you haven’t mentioned Micheal Clarke in this list.
There’s a reason for it – the list is intended to mock silly dresses and mismatched couples. There is nothing to mock about Pup and Kyly.